A Dark Wanderer in a Free Obituary Search

A Dark Wanderer in a Free Obituary Search

I think sometimes I'll discover me
dark wanderer
in a free obituary search.
I'll find that I have gone past here
and found a different now.

Drawings of scorpions
and grim reaper drawings
gothic angel art?
I forgot to list their names.
I think it is because they sang
so darkly.

Neon Blue slept here
I feared she would.
She got tired of all those noises.
She got tired of all the screams
that made havoc in her mind.
Projected inappropriately
past those midnight walls
Lily heard her
letting them come out.
Lily and I
in the dark holding hands.
And will hear those memories
forever.

Grim reaper
grim reaper
on my walls
and in my bed
late at night
I hear you breathing.
Obituary searches found my name?
You have stained my heart
caused me forever to know sadness
despite tokens of good cheer
tiny angels will not rest here with ease.
Not for me and not for Lily
despite her well dressed protests.


It is with sadness
colored with regret
I hear her
and yet dear Lily
tiny angel
will forever point toward stars.
In the light I see her
still hopeful.
I always have.

And yet..
Moans come from the closet still.
I want to drag them out
wrap them in a blanket
suffocate their need of me
tie them to the other side
of somewhere I can't find again.
I want to become cold
become a calloused word.

Lily won't speak of it to her
she would not recall it anyway
not an honest story she'd remember.
Perfect not to admit to.
Who would?
I will hold back all those tainted fields.
No daisies
no roses planted with care
no little ponds I wished I could maintain
that would love me back
and lend comfort to a little girl.

In times of weakness
Yes, I think sometimes I'll discover me
dark wanderer
in a free obituary search.
I'll find that I have gone past here
and found a different now
yet I know one thing more
secrets shared
I will always find peace in Lily's arms.


copyright 2008
Kathy Ostman-Magnusen




Unlock Creativity|Critical Thinking Creative Writing Active Reading=Great Art
http://www.squidoo.com/createart/

Fantasy Art Woman|Beautiful Women Goddess Art:
http://www.squidoo.com/kathysart


Hawaiian Travel|Hawaiian Fun Food
http://www.squidoo.com/hawaiianartprints/


Kathy's ACEO on Squidoo:
http://www.squidoo.com/kathysaceo
http://www.squidoo.com/kathysaceo

Fantasy Art|Artwork in a Butterfly Garden|Legend of Pegasus|Fantasy Poetry:
http://www.squidoo.com/legendofpegasus/

Grim Reaper Artwork and a Fairies Illustrations-Please, Make It Rain

"Please, Make It Rain-Grim Reaper Artwork and a Fairies Illustrations"


I want to feel passion
find a fairies illustrations
grim reaper artwork
I want to make it rain
yet I am almost sick of the word.
it is not enough
words not met by deeds.
Pictures cut out from magazines
pasted on the floor
I want to walk in their gardens.

I hear the ground
those before me
I am humbled.
I hear their voices
they speak of lost days
grim reaper artwork
so why
do I...
lose them?

I stroke my own hair
hear me breathing
I am not sure it is really me
and yet
I am a fantasy fairy in a snow filled jar.
A bench sits in the middle of the ocean
my brush is filled with aqua.
I remove tight fitting muzzles
lest bright colors fly away.
I always seem to miss the signs
and yet
I will try to spy them now
lest I die.
One cannot control adventures
nor define them
a fairies illustrations
but I will try none the less.

I count the days
grim reaper
but I am not sure why
maybe because
I count my paintings.

I hear the breaths of tombs.
They did not know their shadow
before their passing.
And ohhh...
I hear their complaints
making rain
I guess I am one.
I sing in harmony.
How many failures can one accept
and still be noticed?

Let me climb from this jar
let me taste the stamen of a flower
touch my tongue on a tiny miracle
stave off honey bees
stand firm
this story is meant for me.

Pleasantries are gone in winter
it feels too cold for smiles.
I will seclude myself
till the snow is past
and no longer floating free
in unopened jars full of water
filled to the brim with wishes
for fantasy fairies like me.

I am a tear
yet I have added a second blanket
and should be fine.

Voices
everywhere
I stop
I hear...
grim reaper illustrations
calling out for drops of water.
And ever so timely
bringing umbrellas to cover
voices from the ground.

14 April 2007
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

Grim Reaper Artwork Poem on My Space click HERE

"Make It Rain-Grim Reaper Artwork and a Fairies Illustrations"

I hear the ground
those before me
I am humbled.
I hear their voices
they speak of lost days
grim reaper artwork
so why
do I...
lose them?

I want to feel passion
I want ti make it rain
yet I am almost sick of the word.
it is not enough
words not met by deeds.
Pictures cut out from magazines
pasted on the floor
I want to walk in their gardens.

I stroke my own hair
hear me breathing
I am not sure it is really me
and yet
I am a fantasy fairy in a snow filled jar.
A bench sits in the middle of the ocean
my brush is filled with aqua.
I remove tight fitting muzzles
lest bright colors fly away.
I always seem to miss the signs
and yet
I will try to spy them now
lest I die.
One cannot control adventures
nor define them
a fairies illustrations
but I will try none the less.

I count the days
grim reaper
but I am not sure why
maybe because
I count my paintings.

I hear the breaths of tombs.
They did not know their shadow
before their passing.
And ohhh...
I hear their complaints
making rain
I guess I am one.
I sing in harmony.
How many failures can one accept
and still be noticed?

Let me climb from this jar
let me taste the stamen of a flower
touch my tongue on a tiny miracle
stave off honey bees
stand firm
this story is meant for me.

Pleasantries are gone in winter
it feels too cold for smiles.
I will seclude myself
till the snow is past
and no longer floating free
in unopened jars full of water
filled to the brim with wishes
for fantasy fairies like me.

I am a tear
yet I have added a second blanket
and should be fine.

Voices
everywhere
I stop
I hear...
grim reaper illustrations
calling out for drops of water.
And ever so timely
bringing umbrellas to cover
voices from the ground.

14 April 2007
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen

The little painting above is a 4 1/2 x 11 watercolor. I mostly paint in oils because I feel it demands the most respect but like most artists all mediums are fair game. When I painted this little painting I was really into it and painted some 50 little paintings of women, children, flowers and yes a few men.

I do paint men on occasion. Smile.

Hey... what would we women do without glorious men?!! HUGE smile.

Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
Free Gifts & E-cards:
www.kathysart.com